Why am i even here?

So, it's my weekend to work at the hospital. My schedule is 10 am to 6 pm. Not horrible, certainly not as good as, say, just waking up or even just being at home playing video games or watching The adventures of Baron Munchausin (just re-released). Thats all beside the point. I'm here and have to deal with it. So while I'm here I will reveal some interesting things about working in a hospital.

1. First and foremost, working in a hospital in not like being on the show E.R. No one here looks like George clooney, or John Stamos. Most people here look like Anthony Edwards, which in my book is a-ok. Why, you might ask? Well it's my hope that eventually more of the staff will start to look, and act like Dudley 'Booger' Dawson. And eventually the hospital will consist of nothing but charicatures of the entire cast of Revenge of the Nerds (except forWormser,that kid sucked). Oh in a perfect world.....

2. On the whole point of no one looking like Clooney or Stamos. The main reason for that is because you never see anyones face. Most everyone who works anywhere near an OR or an ER is required to wear a surgical mask most of the time, so all you ever see is peoples eyes, and part of their nose.When you do see a face, you propably don't even know who it is. And the scrubs, not so sexy. If you think amorphous clothing is sexy, chances are there is a website catering to your particular kink somewhere on the internets. Right next to the shit porn and the furries.

3. Working on a weekend as a transporter is possibly the most pointless thing they could ever have a person do. The grand total of cases for today is four. Four friggin cases to last me eight hours. Are you fucking kidding me? And the whole extra dollar an hour incentive to work on the weekends equals about ten dollars extra on my paycheck. Hold on Ma, I can afford that operation for ya now! Not that I mind getting paid to do absolutely nothing for a day. I've always been the kind of person that when I enjoy a job, I WANT to work. I know, crazy aint it?

4. I (unfortunately) have yet to see some really gnarly operations. I've caught glimpses of them while bringing carts down to the OR and OC. A darkend room with a video screen and some unkown part of the body being worked on is always kinda cool. Nine times out of ten though I just see someone mopping up some blood, or I notice what the particular pieces were for a surgery. Let me tell you, seeing a Bariatric vaginal kit makes me throw up a little in my mouth. What are bariatrics you might ask? It's a nice way of saying "for fat people" i.e.- Heart pan becomes "Heart pan for fat people" when you add bariatric to it. Fun stuff huh?

next time: Wherein Eric reveals his review of "There will be blood" and masturbates into a corpse....