Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Alright douschebags....

So i feel as though my innermost god given abilities have been lacking as of recent. "What are those Eric" the masses cry. Why my ability to mix my utter disdain for the general public and my insane level of nerdosity. Yes I know that's not a word, fuck off.
So, to begin...

#1-I hate about 80% of the people I work with. it's not that they're bad people...Well yeah, most of them are. They possess the bare minimum needed to make it through the day without choking on their own saliva.Which not to sound like an elitist (which I am to an extent), but how in the FUCK did these walking piles of refuse get a job in the hospital? Really? This job is so tough that you can't somehow manage to build up a base level of skills?

#2-Work ethic-yeah I know this seems like something that most people would learn by age 20 or so, but I guess Lancaster, let alone the hospital is a goddamn geographical oddity (much like the store in "O brother where art thou" that doesn't have any dapper dan hair product). It seems this place is content on hiring the lowest common denominator to work in areas that, one would imagine, need some form of skill let alone WORK-FUCKING-ETHIC! If you can't finish something within your shift, hey man I understand, no I truly do. It's not easy being in the fast paced world of adult work. The least you knuckle dragging mouth breathers could do is ask for some help. Or at least inform the incoming shift; read-mine, that you will not have most of your work done. Jesus....

#3-Hey, you stupid drunk community college drop outs. It's cold, I'm going to walk quickly to pick up a forty and then go home to troll the Internet for six hours. I'm glad that my ability to walk quickly is so goddamn hilarious to you. No I really am. You know what's even funnier to me? The fact that you will go home with some random douschebag tonight and have the most unsatisfying sex that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Yeah I said it. Guess what bro, when you're waiting in line for bread in the eventual (yet ironic) future that the United States will have going, I'll be laughing at you from my tall ivory tower while I eat soilent green (it's made from people).

#4-I really like the comic "The Boys". Pick it up, along with Fables,Powers,Invincible, and Preacher. The best comic series to come out in the last twenty years.
Unbelievable levels of sacrilege? Check
Irish Vampire? Check
Hitman(woman) Girlfriend? Check
Violence on a biblical scale? Check

If that doesn't sound like the best comic ever I am going to summon the Celestials, and they are going to do their whole thumbs down thing on you and destroy your life...or something.

#5-I miss working at a record store. Well correction, I miss the ability to get music for free and have a regular life. Or at least a schedule that permitted me to actually interact with other human beings.It makes me kind of sad that I'm so out of touch with current GOOD music. Other than that though, people can eat every inch of my dick. It will be a very short meal...(sad face).

#6-I met a girl.
Fuck you.

Alright, I feel slightly better....

P.S.-It makes my balls hurt thinking about how awesome a public access channel would be in Lancaster





4 comments:

bitclipr said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ohhh that's some good bile. Methinks I need to go back and read Preacher. I remember browsing some issues when you first got them, but my comic enjoyment level wasn't then where it is today.

When the collapse of the US is in full sway let's get sniper rifles.

bitclipr said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chris said...

man. i love stubbys.

wait. what does "love" mean again?

stefdabbs said...

do Nordic walking next time you go to stubbys. At least then you'll have a weapon of some sort to threaten them with. Bastards.