Why wasn't there a black M.O.D.O.K?

So it's about three in the morning and I'm still awake. Mind you I haven't tried sleeping yet, but you can't really try to sleep. You do or you don't. I guess I'm just not tired. That and my neuroticism is keeping me up, yet again. This is something that anyone has known me for longer than say oh, three hours or so, will know. Personally, between you and me, fair reader, I hate it. I really do. It makes me into something I don't want to be. I constantly second guess people. What that look they just gave me meant (when there was no "look" per-say) or why did they say that, or nothing at all, or in that tone? I try to interpret and over-analyze every little thing. Which then leads to me coming to false conclusions, and making the people around me either unhappy or think I'm a miserable bastard. Which I am, but generally in a lovable way.

Case in point, My wonderful,beautiful,intelligent girlfriend is at the beach with her parents. I talked to her for about five minutes earlier in the day (which is both great and sad at the same time, since all I've been able to do as of recent is talk to her on the phone. Which is a whole other neurotic break in and of itself). Long story short, she said she would call me later tonight. It's now three and I've received no phone call. I know I know, she was probably worn out from being in the heat all day. And I understand that, in the back of my mind. unfortunately in the lizard brain that seems to rule my life, I think there is some sort of deeper meaning behind it. And it just makes me unbelievably sad, with both the realization that I'm doing it (again), and on the other end, what the lack of Phone call means.

Things like this just kill me on a daily basis. I realize I should probably go back to seeing a head shrinker of some sort, but to be perfectly honest with you, I hated the time I was seeing one in the past. I realize now that it helped, but my circumstances were a bit different.I'd like to say this is a recent development in my life (or at least the realization of my neuroticism), but it's not. And I realize this sounds like a lot of belly aching, which it is to an extent, but if I can't put something here, where can I put it?

I apologize for the "realness" of this entry. Well not really, all of you can fuck yourselves if you've got a problem with it.It's my goddamn blog (kind of) and I will do with it what I so choose.



We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...


http://www.jibjab.com/player/main.swf?jid=95259

http://www.jibjab.com/player/main.swf?jid=95255



And the follow up news report



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BGNFdK1twI&feature=related