Go listen to Otis Redding...or pay the price.

So I just got out of work a little bit ago. "Why is this interesting?" you might be asking yourself, Patience dear reader. Apparently some retard who was hepped up on goofballs (the only possible answer) decided it would be a good idea to rob the local Turkey Hill, and then proceed to hide in the hospitals' parking garage on the same street. Now the hospital first started making announcements about how we were not allowed to leave the building due to "Security reasons" at about ten o'clock. Now if I was going to rob a convenience store, I would be sure as shit not to hang out at a parking garage less than a block away, that's just me. But the local police, almost all of them (according to what was seen by certain third shift members), were outside the parking garage trying to capture this scourge of the underworld. Really? It takes that much police presence to take down an idiot who probably only got forty bucks and a toquito? While I like to imagine Tom Clancy-esque exploits, with bravo team rappelling off the side of the building, while alpha team threw flash bangs and performed a "flash and clear" maneuver. We all know it was just a majority of the cops hanging out outside the major exits, while a Don Knotts looking fellow walked around the garage, flashlight shaking like reeds in the wind, yelling out for the guilty party to come out.
Oh yeah, they were also offering escorts to anyone who was parked in the garage itself. Which is a very kind thing to do, and also part of their civic duty (i guess). i can't imagine this person was that much of a threat, or anywhere near the parking garage anymore. Along with all of this, I saw, for the first time ever; a mounted officer within three blocks of my house. Not to say I live in the most slummy area. It's just the sheer fact that I live within spitting distance of a bar, which also offers take out services. Now, to me, that would be a better place to have cops patrolling on more than say, Friday and Saturday nights...Whatever.

Two quick funny things.

1. While looking through an issue of "Vibe" magazine at work; I noticed one of the best/saddest ads I've ever seen. It was a full page color ad of a relatively young looking man and a child playing in a beautiful (and beautifully photo shopped) field. Both white, obviously middle upper class.
Guess what the ad was for..........
Give up?
A home paternity test.
Yes, that's right, all those mid-level execs are not sure if they're the baby daddy of the child they've been raising.
Way to pander to your audience, and fulfill a wonderful stereotype.

2. I noticed (for the first time ever) a wonderful sign over by some of our sterilization machines at work today. It covered various things that you should remember to do, what you would expect to see near sensitive equipment. The best part about it was the line that read...

"what to do with the Bowie-dick"

There was more to it, but the first answer that came to mind was to find the nearest Iggy pop orifice machine and proceed to insert.

Sadly no one I work with understood the joke....

Enjoy...


http://www.filecabi.net/video/47a9de86a7a.html