I don't even have the strength to swear at you...

So for those who know me (or have read this blog before) you will all know that i am a generally a pretty angry and neurotic guy (along with anxiety prone, depressive, manic, so on and so forth). Long story short, I am jumping back into the world of psychology, or at least going to see one in two weeks. I'm not really sure how I feel about hits whole ordeal at this point. I know my personality has changed,drastically, since I started working second shift at the hospital. Or to be more honest (cause I bring the truth to the strong black youth), I've noticed how scattered my mind is recently, and how I take the slightest thing, real or imagined, and worry it like a puppy with a blanket.

Case in point...

I just spent the last hour or so fighting back a full scale panic attack. "Why?" you might be asking.
Isn't it obvious? because when I talked to Amy on the phone she seemed tired, or bored. Which translated to her being tired of me, or bored with me. And then (oh it gets better) I start to over-analyze it in my head (where else would I do it?) until it turns into this
(wherein my fucked up head will be explained by two lizards wearing tuxedos with tails, top hats and monocles)

Lizard brain A:well she's obviously going to break up with you.

Lizard Brain B:Or she's seeing someone else, or at least interested in someone else.

Lizard Brain A: I like where you're going with that good sir! Yes, she is going to break up with you
because she is interested in someone else.

Lizard Brain B: In fact, he is probably over at her house right now.

(close curtain. End scene.)

Or for another summary of how it works. For those of you who have done acid before (I'm sure a couple people who read this have), you know those times when you become extremely introspective and mull over everything? That's me when I'm having an anxiety attack. Except all the fun is gone.

Awesome.

I feel like this has been affecting the most important parts of my life, you my dear readers, and of course, my wonderful girlfriend. Will any of this help? I'm not really sure yet. Obviously I'm gonna have to wait and see. I really don't want to be crazy anymore, I really don't. And I know this comes across as whining, or what you would expect in a blog. And to that my response is......fuck you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9Kx_t6ko1k

Bowie-Dick [it's what's for dinner]

So really this is just another list of the things that i like that you may or may not agree with i just renamed it after reading Fedor's life-changing missive concerning the sterilization machines at his place of employment:

1. STL, aka: Stephan Laubner (one of the best and underrated house music--or otherwise--producers in Germany. give yourself 15 minutes and just listen. Homework LP and Invisibility=instant classics)

2. Lee Curtiss new ep on Dumb Unit (detroit boy blowing-up kind of in New York...at least he should be)

3. Cassy 02 ep (on her own imprint; Panorama Bar resident dj/vocalist/producer)

4. Round Black Ghosts compilation (on ~scape; check out the Pole and Ramadanman clips! dubstep gets techy, cleaner and more palatable--purists beware)

5. "W." the movie (i'll probably see this no matter what)

Go listen to Otis Redding...or pay the price.

So I just got out of work a little bit ago. "Why is this interesting?" you might be asking yourself, Patience dear reader. Apparently some retard who was hepped up on goofballs (the only possible answer) decided it would be a good idea to rob the local Turkey Hill, and then proceed to hide in the hospitals' parking garage on the same street. Now the hospital first started making announcements about how we were not allowed to leave the building due to "Security reasons" at about ten o'clock. Now if I was going to rob a convenience store, I would be sure as shit not to hang out at a parking garage less than a block away, that's just me. But the local police, almost all of them (according to what was seen by certain third shift members), were outside the parking garage trying to capture this scourge of the underworld. Really? It takes that much police presence to take down an idiot who probably only got forty bucks and a toquito? While I like to imagine Tom Clancy-esque exploits, with bravo team rappelling off the side of the building, while alpha team threw flash bangs and performed a "flash and clear" maneuver. We all know it was just a majority of the cops hanging out outside the major exits, while a Don Knotts looking fellow walked around the garage, flashlight shaking like reeds in the wind, yelling out for the guilty party to come out.
Oh yeah, they were also offering escorts to anyone who was parked in the garage itself. Which is a very kind thing to do, and also part of their civic duty (i guess). i can't imagine this person was that much of a threat, or anywhere near the parking garage anymore. Along with all of this, I saw, for the first time ever; a mounted officer within three blocks of my house. Not to say I live in the most slummy area. It's just the sheer fact that I live within spitting distance of a bar, which also offers take out services. Now, to me, that would be a better place to have cops patrolling on more than say, Friday and Saturday nights...Whatever.

Two quick funny things.

1. While looking through an issue of "Vibe" magazine at work; I noticed one of the best/saddest ads I've ever seen. It was a full page color ad of a relatively young looking man and a child playing in a beautiful (and beautifully photo shopped) field. Both white, obviously middle upper class.
Guess what the ad was for..........
Give up?
A home paternity test.
Yes, that's right, all those mid-level execs are not sure if they're the baby daddy of the child they've been raising.
Way to pander to your audience, and fulfill a wonderful stereotype.

2. I noticed (for the first time ever) a wonderful sign over by some of our sterilization machines at work today. It covered various things that you should remember to do, what you would expect to see near sensitive equipment. The best part about it was the line that read...

"what to do with the Bowie-dick"

There was more to it, but the first answer that came to mind was to find the nearest Iggy pop orifice machine and proceed to insert.

Sadly no one I work with understood the joke....

Enjoy...


http://www.filecabi.net/video/47a9de86a7a.html

Holy right wing bullshit Batman!

This is possibly the most insane thing I've read all week.
I love conservative owned papers
Ah, Rupert Murdoch, you are truly the crown prince of insane idiots.
And you Mr. Klavan should have your eyes poked out, and your hands removed.

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB121694247343482821-lMyQjAxMDI4MTI2NTkyNDUyWj.html

An open letter to "Magic" Johnson....

Dear Mr Johnson

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR AIDS!?!

Music & Misc. [07-02-08]

Not just a one-hit (hit?) wonder! In order from ass-kicking to approaching-ass-nudging-but-still-technically-kicking:

1. Moodymann @ Water Taxi beach (not your typical anonymous DJ set...and it got ssssllloooooowwww. I couldn't find actual footage, but this will give you the idea)

2. Catching the last 30 minutes of Ulrich Schnauss's performance @ WTC (Duh)

3. Dartriix (2 great EPs out this year, one dense full-length I slept on from last on op.disc (Japan) all original and bangin'. Left field shit with scatterings of live instrumentation (OK the singing is a bit much).)

4. New Stephan Bodzin EP ('Bremen Ost' and 'Station 72' are two tracks that deftly hack away at the argument that techno music "goes nowhere")

5. Sound Stream tracks finally available on beatport! (FINALLY)

Happy 4th! Hope to see you all soon...with all your digits.

I was wondering if I could date yer pumpkin?

Alright, this is just gonna be a quickie, much like my sex life (cue drum roll and cymbal crash).

1. The Earth is screaming!!!

Apparently there is a very logical reason this is happening. Solar radiation hitting out magnetic something or the other, blah blah blah.
It's still kinda creepy to hear. Plus the dude doing the narration on this video is awesome.

http://www.space.com/php/video/player.php?video_id=080627-earth-sounds


2.The Earth has reason to scream!!!!

Leave it to switzerland to build the worlds largest atom smasher. Those wacky swiss and their chocolate, and peace, and potential to destroy the earth by creating a black hole when they switch this puppy on.

http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/promos/wirepicks/story/400382.html

P.S.-this is the "Atom Smasher" I thought of when I first read the headline

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Rothstein

3. A man from Earth wants the ladies to scream and show him their Genitals!!!!

I don't have enough words to describe how much I love this video...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8e5cf85a87