Nostradamus wasn't right, but somehow advertising agencies were?

http://www.oddee.com/item_96465.aspx

Dutch Fury (who's the Freshest?)

Who's in the mood for a hilariously bitter music-related rant followed by some old school-style electro?

De"Gibb"rillator

The song that will never die is helping people...uh...not die.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/10/16/disco.song.health.ap/index.html

The world is a cold dead place, and if it isn't, I'm gonna make sure it ends up that way....

Two in two nights, I know, kinda crazy.
Regardless...

After finishing my second forty of the evening my muse has struck me. Unfortunately my muse doesn't give me clear direction on where to go. It just tells me to write, so suffer through it.

I guess I'll just give a general update on where I'm at. Mind you the only people who read this (to my knowledge) live with me, or I talk to on a weekly basis. If not, and this is your first time ever reading this shit, turn back now. You've been warned.

So work is work. As my prior entry stated, the sum total I.Q. points of the people I work with (with a few exceptions) hovers somewhere in the high 80's. Yup, I work with a cavalcade of idiots. Well maybe that's a little too strong. Everyone who works on my shift I fucking love. Yes, even crazy Josh, who is currently banging an 18 year old who is married. This is the same guy who a couple of years ago brought some guns into work with the intent of "taking care" of his baby-mommas boyfriend. Absolutely terrifying. Yet I've learned that by being pleasant to him I've been taken off his "to kill list". Which between me and you dear reader is a HUGE load off my back. That dude is a bad day away from bringing the fires down from the heavens in the form of unbelievable violence.

So recently I've been to the village on two different "college nights". The people I've met through my SANE work friends has been great. They're all good people (as far as I can tell), but the Village is the place where sad horny bastards (male or female) go to die. Watching freshman sluts in white pants dance to a song that's three or four years old is just horrifying. I may not be in touch with "modern" music, but I know what they play there is lowest common denomanator. No if, ands, or buts about it. I could program a better set-list while blindfolded and with only my penis to choose records. Horrible image I know, I've seen myself naked.

On a completely differnet note...

I've started listening to music again. I know to most people this is a normal occurance. having worked in a record store for a couple years, and also going to shows for awhile, has made me hate most music. I don't even really care about new music. Wether it be to make fun of it, or just to know what's popular and avoid it. I just find with my work schedule I am more willing to take time to troll the internet for music, wether it's stuff I already know or is related to the music I love (Pogues,Elvis Costello, Soul, and recently I've rediscoverd my love for the Futureheads).
I still think 90% of the population should be sterilized based on their music taste, but I'm not in charge. Yet....

Something I was talking to my work buddy, travis, about was happiness. Gay, yes, but bear with me. He has been through an unbelievable time with his ex. And he and I were talking about when you meet someone new, how just the little things make such a difference. What you might ask? I know you didn't, but shut the fuck up and listen. You never really realize how unhappy you are until you have something to be interested in. Be it movies, Music, or even a girl. Yeah I said it.
Yes, i've recently met a young lady that has piqued my interest.
Eat all of my dick.
It comes down to this. You don't realize how unhappy you've been until you have this little spark. Then it makes you think about how happy/normal you could be on a regular basis without all the static. It kinda makes me sad that I've been so sad about my recent shit. I wish I could have just jumped right back into the saddle again and not been so down on everything. That's beside the point though. And even if things don't work out, I still feel an amazing amount of relief over the fact that people still find me interesting. You know what I mean? Justification of your personality always makes a man (or woman) feel good.

I guess that's it.
Enjoy what I should be doing with my life...

Alright douschebags....

So i feel as though my innermost god given abilities have been lacking as of recent. "What are those Eric" the masses cry. Why my ability to mix my utter disdain for the general public and my insane level of nerdosity. Yes I know that's not a word, fuck off.
So, to begin...

#1-I hate about 80% of the people I work with. it's not that they're bad people...Well yeah, most of them are. They possess the bare minimum needed to make it through the day without choking on their own saliva.Which not to sound like an elitist (which I am to an extent), but how in the FUCK did these walking piles of refuse get a job in the hospital? Really? This job is so tough that you can't somehow manage to build up a base level of skills?

#2-Work ethic-yeah I know this seems like something that most people would learn by age 20 or so, but I guess Lancaster, let alone the hospital is a goddamn geographical oddity (much like the store in "O brother where art thou" that doesn't have any dapper dan hair product). It seems this place is content on hiring the lowest common denominator to work in areas that, one would imagine, need some form of skill let alone WORK-FUCKING-ETHIC! If you can't finish something within your shift, hey man I understand, no I truly do. It's not easy being in the fast paced world of adult work. The least you knuckle dragging mouth breathers could do is ask for some help. Or at least inform the incoming shift; read-mine, that you will not have most of your work done. Jesus....

#3-Hey, you stupid drunk community college drop outs. It's cold, I'm going to walk quickly to pick up a forty and then go home to troll the Internet for six hours. I'm glad that my ability to walk quickly is so goddamn hilarious to you. No I really am. You know what's even funnier to me? The fact that you will go home with some random douschebag tonight and have the most unsatisfying sex that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Yeah I said it. Guess what bro, when you're waiting in line for bread in the eventual (yet ironic) future that the United States will have going, I'll be laughing at you from my tall ivory tower while I eat soilent green (it's made from people).

#4-I really like the comic "The Boys". Pick it up, along with Fables,Powers,Invincible, and Preacher. The best comic series to come out in the last twenty years.
Unbelievable levels of sacrilege? Check
Irish Vampire? Check
Hitman(woman) Girlfriend? Check
Violence on a biblical scale? Check

If that doesn't sound like the best comic ever I am going to summon the Celestials, and they are going to do their whole thumbs down thing on you and destroy your life...or something.

#5-I miss working at a record store. Well correction, I miss the ability to get music for free and have a regular life. Or at least a schedule that permitted me to actually interact with other human beings.It makes me kind of sad that I'm so out of touch with current GOOD music. Other than that though, people can eat every inch of my dick. It will be a very short meal...(sad face).

#6-I met a girl.
Fuck you.

Alright, I feel slightly better....

P.S.-It makes my balls hurt thinking about how awesome a public access channel would be in Lancaster

Global reaction

An amazing montage.

To see, or not to see...

A link to a blog containing reviews of different movies...

sorry Republics, no Bambi here...

http://blogs.indiewire.com/reverseshot/archives/cat_reviews.html

Optimism

I feel great. This song came on the shuffle this morning and it sounded better than ever.

Time to check my BarakObometer

I have to say I got a little chocked up last night when Barak was elected. It's probably the most positive historic event I have yet witnessed. I could go on about how significant it is, but I think we all know. I am hopeful but he's got his work cut out for him from the get go.

I'm proud of my State, my county, and everyone who made this happen. And I think it's pretty evident that everything below the Mason-Dixon line can be blasted into little pieces.

Kidding, .....sort of.

Music & Misc [11.04.08]

Time has slipped through our fingers. The day of reckoning is upon us...

Listed top down, in order of radness: from Kucinich-administration-rad to Obama- administration-still-pretty-rad...

1) Barack-ing the vote. Yes. I said it. I waited for 45 minutes this morning! Amazing turnout!

2) Move D. Everyone's loving this guy lately. Brilliant electronic musician from the early to mid nineties who's been releasing a string of refreshing house EPs and one long, twittering oddyssey with constant collaborator Benjamin Brunn. His RA podcast is one of the very few I can remember listening to the whole way through without fast forwarding. His career spans many genres and is ever-evolving, so keep watching.

3) Pumpkin carving and any pumpkin-related food stuffs.

4)Das Krause Duo. For anyone who likes the idea of dance music being made with 'real' instruments—this is your jam(s). Weird groovy syncopated beastly music.

5) Portable. You liked Bodycode, right? Then you should loooove the continuous string of releases Lisbon's favorite son has planned for this year and the next. Spooky shit.

6) Baaz. This guy is kind of new; has 3 EPs out since 2006 (Discogs is wrong). The 2 on Sthlmaudio Recordings are really nice—they have a deep late night sound, but still have enough energy to interest the sober dancefloor occupants.

7) Art Bleek. This is an overdue posting, I bought his Reposal EP last December and was loving the intricacies and fluid melodies. Everything was subtle yet assertive. His catalogue from the past year is divided between this kind of lovely, inventive, iridescent tech house and some pretty vampy, funky house music. I prefer the former, though it is all done very well. You don't have to read his bio to get that this guy is a skilled musician, not a just another 'producer'.

8) Pigeon Funk. On Musique Risquee from Montreal. Cracked-out funk techno whatever. Read and listen.

Llewd did I live, evil did I dwell OR Mr owl ate my metal worm: Pt 2

You all know what the rigmarole was from the last one, right?
with no further ado....

Fantastic planet-Mind you this one doesn't fall directly into the "horror" genre. I watched this based on the fact that when I was about eight and saw it for the first time on "Night Flight" it scared and disturbed the shit out of me. And I'll admit, it's still a little disquieting to me to this day.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070544/

The Devil's Rejects- Yes I know, I know. It's a Rob Zombie film. Alright, i get it. I still found this film to be thoroughly enjoyable. Especially in comparison to his prior work (House of 1,000 corpses). AT least this one didn't look like a White zombie video. Plus it's got Ken Foree and Michael Berryman in it. I mean really...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0395584/fullcredits#cast

The Howling-Certainly not the best werewolf film to exist. In fact apparently all you need to be in this movie is
1.A groupie for Great white
2.A great moustache
3. Some leftover scenes that didn't make it into the film "Heavy Metal" of werewolves fucking

And the fact that Dee Wallace turns into a cocker spaniel at the end of the movie, well that's just icing on the cake.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082533/

Midnight Meat Train-Went into this expecting to be let down. I was, to my surprise, actually very happy with the movie. Except for the ending. The ending is so far out of left field that I'm led to believe that Clive Barker was too busy smoking pole to notice how weird it seemed.
Regardless...
Some great gore, and for once the CGI blood doesn't look horrible (to me).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805570/

Aliens-I will find you and cut out your eyes if you've never seen this.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/

Battle Royale-How much do you love the Japanese? I know I do, a lot. And this movie basically sums up why America will never be able to compete with them when it comes to horror/sc-fi.
15 year olds killing each other (obviously the actors aren't really 15). And why? Because the government wants them to. There's more to it then that, but that's all you really need to know.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266308/

Black Sheep-Great little film that didn't, in my opinion, get as much attention as it should. Flesh eating sheep? Weresheep? WETA doing the special effects?
Awesome.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0779982/

Piranha-I loved this movie when I was kid. Mind you my memories of it weren't all that great. I do remember thinking it was tits though (yes I saw it when I lived in Mass). Living in the woods must be tough, because all the main character does is drink, all the time. When you're first introduced to him his buddy is delivering supplies to him. They consist of nothing but booze. he carries a canteen around filled with booze. He is the man I'm going to become in a couple months. And oh yeah, there's some military altered Piranha that get out and terrorize a lake.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078087/

Jaws-All I'm going to say is taken directly from the quotes page on IMDB...
Quint: [seeing Hooper's equipment] What are you? Some kind of half-assed astronaut?
[examining the shark cage]
Quint: Jesus H Christ, when I was a boy, every little squirt wanted to be a harpooner or a sword fisherman. What d'ya have there - a portable shower or a monkey cage?
Hooper: Anti-Shark cage.
Quint: Anti-shark cage. You go inside the cage?
[Hooper nods]
Quint: Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water. Our shark.
[sings]
Quint: Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again.

Go see this now, even if you've seen it before, watch it again. It's great.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original)- I don't want to know you if you haven't seen this.
Also...
Tobe Hooper is amazing.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/

Poltergeist-This film made me hate my stuffed animals when I was 7. And that was before I even saw it. Just based on what my brother told me about the clown scene. That, and a tree tries to eat a little boy. How does life get better than that?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084516/

Ichi the Killer-Takashi Miike is so fucked up. I mean REALLY REALLY fucked up. I'm still not sure what this movie is about. I mean I understand the basic plot, but what it all means in the end is beyond me. It does have people getting cut in half and a man cutting the end of his own tongue off, so it's not all bad.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0296042/

Bram Stokers Dracula-I forgot how much i enjoy this film. Keanu Reevs is certainly not a good actor, but I think it's his lack of acting ability that make him a perfect Johnathan Harker. Tom Waits as Renfield? Amazing choice. And Gary Oldman is just great (just like everything he does).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103874/

Pumpkinhead-Sometimes I wish I could summon him, but that would mean someone I love would have to die. Anyone wanna volunteer? Lance Henrikson is great in this. Punk kids getting their dues i.e.-killed by some ungodly creation of witchcraft.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095925/

And tonight....
well tonight I'm not sure. I'm hoping to watch Halloween.
Although that is kinda cliche. So maybe I'll go for silent night,deadly night, just to throw a wrench in the gears. We shall see....

Geek Porn

A site you should all check out IO9.com. In particular there is some really great SCI FI ART up right now.

...Never Sleeps

Even when your songwriting skills are rusty (pardon the pun) you can still be awesome.

die intreresting Leute, die Wohnungen für interessante Leute dann eine Wurst bilden, brechen.

Just a follow up on yesterdays post here is the link to the architectural firm that did the Dupli Casa. Their body of work is really worth checking out

J. MAYER H.

When I am disgustingly wealthy (which will be a few days shy of never) I will live in this house. And I will have robot servants that only speak German and bring me white beverages to drink. If I owned this house there would be no limit to the various eccentricities I would develop. I would make Brian Wilson look as balanced as Chinese gymnast.

Read about my future nut hut HERE

Mr owl ate my metal worm: Pt 1

So, to keep the spirit of Halloween alive (at least to me). I've been watching a horror movies every night for this whole month. With the obvious exception of Beth and Benny's wedding I've done pretty well, if I don't say so myself. It's really fun to remind myself why i enjoy this particular genre so much. Make no mistakes, I can watch the most art house of art house films, and enjoy the subtext to them (not too arrogant there). It's just the visceral, simple enjoyment that these films give me that keeps me coming back.

What are some of my favorites so far you might ask? (even if you didn't I'm still going to answer).

Let's see...

American werewolf in London-David's transformation scene will always be one of the greatest examples of why CG will never replace the age old practice of REAL special FX. Yes it's much more time and work to do the real stuff, but when it pays off, which it does in this movie, it's amazing.
Oh yeah, Nazi werewolves come in a close second

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082010/


The Thing-Everything about this movie is perfect. Challenge it, I dare you.
It has Wilford Brimley in it fer fucks sake.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/

Dog soldiers-Next to American werewolf, this is the second best (in my opinion) werewolf film ever made. It's just serious enough to be great, but never takes itself too seriously (you get what I mean?)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0280609/

Dagon-Just watched this the other night. Forgot how good H.P. Lovecraft stories can be when done well. Yes Stuart Gordan has slipped a couple times. When he's on though, he's spot on.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264508/

Grindhouse-Saw this when it was first out. Enjoyed it, or at least Planet Terror and the fake trailers immensely. Death proof, while it had it's moments, just didn't live up to what I expected Tarintino to do (being that Kill bill vol 1&2 were more grindhousey than Death Proof was). Still worth all three of your hours if you have it in you.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462322/

The Mist-Holy fuck. Did Frank Darabont knock this one out of the park. I know some people didn't like the ending, but I personally (having grown up with the original short story) think he did a bang up job on making the ending better, and horribly brutal.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0884328/

Zombie-What a great goddamn zombie film. You gotta love the Italians for taking something from America (like they did with westerns) and showing us how to REALLY do it. At one point in this film a zombie fights a shark, let me repeat that. A zombie fights a shark. What else do you want?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080057/

Dawn of the dead (original)-Favorite film growing up. Still my favorite zombie film. Even got to go to the mall where they filmed it when I lived in Pittsburgh. It's a shame that Romero is so out of touch now...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077402/

Event Horizon-Fer real's. This is a creepy ass film. It might not have the biggest stars in it, but the actors do a fine job with what they have. I feel like this is an overlooked gem.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119081/

The Descent-Another Marshall film. Yes the CGI bats sucked, deal with it. Other than that, I dare you to watch it alone, in the dark. Such a good idea, done so well, on a limited budget.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435625/

The Exorcist-If you haven't seen this you don't deserve to.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070047/

Shaun of the Dead-Why it took someone as long as it did to actually make a GOOD spoof of zombie films is beyond me. It's also the fact that it does take itself seriously at times too that puts this in such a high place in my heart.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/

From Dusk till Dawn-How in the fuck does this movie not get more praise? Seriously, it starts off going in one direction (heist movie) and then adds Mexican vampires. I give up, you win movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116367/

A Nightmare on Elm Street-I'll be the first to admit that this movie isn't as good as I remember it being, but it's still a classic. Long before Freddy became just a burnt up bag of one-liners. His character actually had some menace to him. Worth a repeat viewing if you haven't seen it in awhile.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087800/

And for tonight I shall be watching

In the mouth of madness-Carpenters "love letter" to the stories of H.P. Lovecraft. In no way is it as good as "The thing" but it's still pretty damn good.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113409/

I've included links to all of the films profiles on IMDB, so if you're interested you can learn a thing or two.
See I'm teaching people...how to be nerds.

Why Do People Still Care About This?

Can anyone tell me? Music has gotten so, so much better since 1991. Seriously. It's been fifteen years. Grow up.

Two-fer Tuesday

Today I celebrate two musical giants from the Great Flat North. One, sadly, no longer with us.

Marc Moulin made some great synth/techno pop and was also a pioneering jazz musician from Belgium. His legacy:



Guy Tavares, one half of Unit Moebius (whom you should get more acquainted with), is also the owner of Den Haag-based (The Hague) Bunker Records. I was glad to finally see an interview with him.* A real 'character'...



*NOTE: the Slices DVD series is really something anyone with love for electronic music should check out. Quality interviews with quality music makers.

Un-fucking-believable

Wow, so basically everything I wrote in that prior entry has now been made useless, and makes me look disturbingly naive. Awesome, thanks for that. Thanks for, oh lets see here....

Being honest.

Doing exactly what you felt was done to you (which lets be honest, the situation was QUITE A BIT FUCKING DIFFERENT).

Basically destroying my ability to trust you again.

Making me feel like I'm the one who was doing something wrong. When all evidence points to the fact that you BOTH were doing something wrong. If you thought everything was OK, then why didn't you just fucking talk to me?

Making it impossible for me to really ever hang out, ever.


For basically telling me exactly how much my friendship means to you.
(oh but wait, you didn't. In fact you haven't said word one to me about this)

Not even having the decency to wait until wounds were healed. Or at least were on there way to being better.

If this is how you treat your friends. I pity your enemies.

And thank you for making the last year and a half of my life a complete waste of time.

Glad you got to trade up?

fuck off...

No-Brainer

So....i suppose i have to be the one to do this.

I am referring to Neon Gold's glowing review of the "Discofreak" track by one Bitclipr.

And it starts.

Music & Misc. 09.22.08

By gar it's been a while. In descending order, from sincere pants-wetting frenzy to genuine head-bobbing appreciation:

1: Fall fever (!. I’ve already got a head cold! Awesome…just as long as I can wear clothes I like again and see pretty colors.)

2: IMPS Bring out the Imps CD (gearheads meet to actually make something beautiful and memorable; tape loops, jazz, beats…same old crap done right!)

3: Andy Stott Unknown Exception CD (selected tracks from the past four years; a mix of tech house and what people call dubstep, the latter veers closer to pure dub reggae in feel than his contemporaries; all very deep with pristine engineering—so, so glad this was released)

4: Hot Guts tracks (these are yet-to-be-committed to vinyl, but I heard the recordings…and this is a good one people; “Bodies Your Water” is bootiful and not on their myspace page, so that should be a real treat)

5: Philip Sherburne Salt n Vinegar ep (on Lan Records; this absolves him of being associated with Pitchfork; Milk and Honey is one of my favorite songs from this past summer; he cuts through the whole minimal/maximal fray and produces some of the most musically sound techno of the past 10 years)

6: The newish Mogwai ep (they have returned to do their Slint/Indian Summer-on-steroids thing and I haven’t paid attention in a good while so it works beautifully for me)

A good kick in the Jimmy

I read about this last week, but The Guardian is reporting it today. I can't wait to see the results of this testing the possibility of an AFTERLIFE

I'd like to stay here, scratch that live HERE

Great movie posters from Poland. I'm sure you will recognize some of them. My personal fav is of course the Star Wars poster, thought the poster for The Fly is a close second. POSTERS

Adventure in mental illness...

Well, for anyone who reads this (which i don't imagine is many) you will have noticed that my prior entry is gone. I'm rescinding it. When I wrote it I was angry and being a little self righteous. Fuck you, I'm allowed to. I just had my "exit talk" with her. Plain and simple, it's done. I've kinda known it's done, but this was the be all end all if you will.

What disturbs me the most about it, is my complete lack of emotion. Maybe it's just that so much time has passed, and I already knew it was coming. I'd like to think it's only going to get easier, but anyone who knows me, knows that this is just a state of shock. I can't blame her. I have to accept that fact for what it is. I'm an adult and I have to take responsibility for actions I set in motion due to my own insecurities. And I have to start picking up the pieces of what's been shattered, and see what is salvageable.

First off, I want to apologize to any of our mutual friends for any stress this has caused. Yeah, I handled it like a little bitch. I concede to that point. I placed friendships in danger because I couldn't get this horrible shit out of my head. And that is what it is, shit. Just sloshing around in there, gumming up the works. Self pitying? You betcha. I at least know my strengths. This entire ordeal, or at least the last half of it, has made me realize I really need help. And I can't rely on anyone but myself to do it.

I made mistakes, and breached boundaries of trust. Sorry. Sadly it's something I do when I feel threatened, or insecure. And especially about something like this. No one I know enjoys looking into their own soul (Jesus, did I just write that?) and to see someone they don't like, or even know looking back. I want to be able to say I learned something from this. Find a positive in all of this shit that has been going on, whether real or imagined. I want a little piece of mind. And all I keep coming to is myself. Hunched over like gollum and holding onto all the things that make me, for good or bad, the way I am.

Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, yes I over analyze EVERY little thing until it reaches a crescendo of unimaginable garbage. A tsunami of fucked up, complex, and ultimately wrong emotions and ideas. Do I think my life is over? Rationally, no, I accept the fact that this shit happens. Irrationally, fuck yes. I'm currently contemplating calling off work, and not leaving my room for a good couple months. And as much as I put the brave face on, or at least attempt to. The chinks in my armor show through, apparently much more than I even realized.

I in no way want to make her feel like I hate her. Which I have no right to do. It's just so goddamn complicated (at least for me) to try and accept the fact that we share mutual friends. Our entire relationship is intertwined with our friendship with everyone. And to have to continue with the one, while the other is gone. Well, I'm just not sure. Even hanging out with everyone still brings on the aforementioned garbage storm. I want to believe it wasn't a waste of time. It wasn't (for me at least) and I know that it wasn't for her, or at least that's what I have to tell myself. Which sounds shitty, I know, but if I don't have irrational thoughts right now, I wouldn't be human.

I could go on and on about the little things that continue to sabotage my ability to get over this. That in and of itself is just another car-bomb waiting to explode. It's just coming to grips with the fact that there is no way to make this better for the time being, other than time. I understand that this will leave a scar, what I choose to do with how I attained that scar is what I have to decide now. Do I turn it into a point of pride i.e.-be able to tell a good story about it eventually, and look back on the good that came from it?
Or do I let it turn me into a phantom of sorts? Just float through my life never bothering to deal with the serious emotional toll this took on me, and stop trusting.
We all know what the right, and through perspective, answer is.
Just right now, the latter is certainly more comforting.

So in summation.
I'm sorry to everyone, Lisa, Angelo, Billy, Guido, Stef. I've put you through a completely unfair situation. And your attempts to help me did not fall on deaf ears.

And Mikey. I am especially sorry that you have been the one caught in the middle of this. I know I've said it before and for the sake of repetition, it makes me feel better. I know this isn't your fault. I know my actions, and even what I've talked about have made it seem like I don't mean it. I'm just so fucked up in the head right now,my words betray me. To reiterate. I don't blame you, or think anything has gone on. I imagine this has been hardest on you. And that is completely unacceptable. You don't do that to a friend. Ever.


I'd like to say this was a well organized, or even thought out entry. If I've learned anything though, it's that I'm not a good planner.
Take that for what you will.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WQghnUnj4Y

(cheesy yes, but it's all I got)

Calling all nerds!

Check out this website...

http://www.mania.com

Smells like Alfkabob

Here is a fun article on how to properly prepare alien flesh.

READ.

This is also fantastic, a great site with really interesting and unique architecture

LOOK.

The particle collider was turned on at CERN today. Reports indicate everything is going well. Sorry for all of the Luddites out there who were concerned that it would create a black hole that would suck the earth into a vortex of doom. You'll just have to find a new scientific breakthrough to spend your empty hours worrying about. Perhaps the new ipod's will be able to eat your thoughts rendering you an imbecile? Or maybe Target is going to start selling stem cells in the cosmetics department?

A cat from space see a nigga, get a boner.

To take a breif respite from my recent bouts of self hatred and insecurities I stumbled across this shit.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tupac-lovecraft-commonplace.php?page=1

Those who know me (the people who read this blog) will understand why shit has , for lack of better term, gotten real recently.

Enjoy

Why is Otis Redding always right.....

I just don't know anymore folks. I'm trying, I mean really putting forth an effort to heal myself mentally. And more things keep popping up. Do I bring them on by being the way I am? Are they all a manifestation of my illness? I want to believe that what I think, well after today, know, is wrong.
I never claimed to be a great person. I go on a day to day basis trying to figure out who I am, and how that reflects upon the people I know and love. I'm generally pretty good about it (with the obvious exception of what I wrote in a prior entry). In the same sense though, isn't that what makes me the person I am? All my faults and idiosyncrasies. good or bad? Should I constantly live in fear of what might be, or do I let it go and accept fate for what it is? And yes, I realize this sounds like a middle school girls journal entry. Deal with it.
Alright, lets break it down for you all.
I am....

1.Neurotic

2.Paranoid

3.Depressive

4.Anxiety prone (which leads to the other three)

5.Cynical

And all of these things lead to the person I am. Good, bad, or otherwise.
I never claimed to be the smartest, or even best person on earth.
And yes, the way I collect information or even reach conclusions sometimes is, for lack of better term, a serious side effect of my mental problems.
Don't I deserve a little bit of respect, let alone honesty?
I've tried to make things better for myself and those around me. I constantly talk the demons in my head down from making poor decisions. But when you let the voices win out, where are you?
And when the voices were correct, what do you do then?
Do I just accept the fact that things are not the way they should be, and I haven't kept up my end of the bargin?
Or is it something beyond my control, based on my aforementioned mental problems, availability (both emotionally and just physical presence)?
Or do I damn the person who wronged me, if things are what I'm convinced they are?
I can't blame anyone that is unaware of their actions effects upon others. Nor can I control how they will be received by people.
I just want to be secure in what I'm told, and what the truth is are not separate entities.

Long story short. I want someone to still love me, who (from all supporting evidence) is falling for someone else.

I'm done...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyxFAzzscBg

I'm not a real pussy doctor, but I play one in my shed....

So, apparently there is now a monarchy without a king, a kingdom in disarray, a country without direction. Or a block without a drunk/hepped up on goofballs asshole after the cops arrested him. Bear with me fine readers, I have a tale.


So, around eight thirty every night myself and either two or three co-workers leave the hospital and go to my front porch to smoke a cigarette on our ten minute break. Being that (which is understandable) the hospital doesn't want people (especially employees) smoking on hospital grounds. Although (somehow) my house technically falls within the hospitals anti-smoking area. Which boggles my mind, based on the fact that my landlord/roommate OWNS this house. So how exactly does a privately owned house fall within their non-smoking area? God only knows, but I digress.
Co-workers,8:30,smoking. Sitting on my front porch. Just shit talking, as one would expect on a smoke break. My new neighbors across the street have their entire family outside on their porch. And when I say entire I mean what seems to be every relative they have, all jammed into the house. I'm guessing they have bunks built in the basement Ala Fight Club. There has to be at least fifteen people I see on their porch and running around the general vicinity of their house. Always yelling, and screeching and blaring music. Toddlers in underwear running around at times that are well past an acceptable time for a child to be...
A.) running around in underwear
B.) even being awake (in my estimation)

So the kids are yelling, at the top of their lungs, running to the end of the block and then running back to the house. Not exactly conducive to a break.

When out of nowhere the aforementioned nutball starts to yell, and I quote.

"WHICH ON OF YOU PUSSIES SAID SHIT?!?! WHO SAID SHIT AND RAN AWAY?!?! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
I KNOW YOU WENT IN THAT HOUSE, WHO THE FUCK SAID SHIT AND RAN OFF?!?!?!
I'M THE KING OF THIS BLOCK, I RUN SHIT HERE NIGGA!!!"

And so on ans so forth ad nauseum.

Now the whole time he's yelling, more and larger members of said family he is yelling at are coming out of their bunker. There is a (and I use this term loosely) grown man accusing children of "starting shit". Really, really?
The one thing that makes this a little bit more than just random nutball starting shit is the fact that he appeared to be carrying some form of weapon. Looked, to me at least, like a fork or possibly a knife of some sort. So shit is a bit more serious than it really should have been. About two minutes into his tirade a cop comes tearing up behind him. The cop hops out and has what I believe was a gun, but might have also been a tazer ( Oh how I wish it had been a tazer) pulled out almost immediately. Which makes me feel a little bit better about my neigborhood, but also hate it for the fact that this even has to happen.
Cope does his job, douschebag drops the weapon, he is cuffed, and lets out one last "FUCKING PUSSY!!!" before being shoved into a squad car and driven off to the pokey. And that my friends is why I hate my neighborhood on certain nights.

In a perfect world I would have a tazer, and the world would be a better place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQUrqLQfPME



Next time: I beat Kobayashi in a hot-dog eating contest, and Kobayashi beats me by eating my hot-dog.

Lite-Brite: Expert Edition

Dazzling lightshows—interactive and not—from United Visual Artists, a design collective from England.

"Volume" at the Victoria and Albert Museum

"Contact" at Roppongi Hills, Tokyo

Kabaret's Prophecy, a nightclub in central London

...and a video for Battles

When I die please put my head in a jar

Why? If you don't I will never be able to have it attached to a robot body. I'm really quite serious

Read this.

Discman

I know I listed ~scape dubstep compilation Round Black Ghosts on my last entry, but listening to it made me realize something: i missed my Discman.

That's right. The Sony Discman—the bright, shiny yellow apparatus that lays dormant in so many closets and drawers, or has been simply dumped by the majority of Zen and Zune users (I am assuming that all of you have one of these fine products)—still has value. To whom? To those who listen to music that doesn't hold-up gracefully under digital compression. The dubstep genre certainly qualifies. So does most finely crafted house, techno and any kind of music/sound construct leaning towards subtlety. I even ran a side-by-side comparison—you really don't have to be an audiophile to tell the difference.

I know that this isn't news, but I think if anyone reading this cares enough to conduct similar tests they will see the limitations of convenient formats. Of course this all goes out the window when FLAC becomes more accessible. But until then, don't settle for 30% of the product—especially when sound production is the focus of the music in question.

So I just read that the new date for turning on CERN will be something like September 10th, I can't wait to be consumed by an artificially generated black hole, or have to do battle with formerly invisible creatures from another dimension. Life will be meaningful once again. We've been lulled into ineptitude with our bagged and washed salads and our TV On Demand. It's time for a good old fashioned "only the strong survive" scenario. We need to thin out the heard.

Okay so I'm totally joking, I would probably be one of the first to go. But I am really excited about the worlds largest supercollider coming to life in less than a month, technology in every facet will change and change quickly.

Other than that here's a couple interesting sounds I've heard recently

DIRTY HOSPITAL "Leave the Planet" EP

ELIA CASETTI ORCHESTRA - Infinito

EVIL NINE - They Live

ISOLATORS, The/NANCY FORTUNE/BETA EVERS/BLACK SPIDER CLAN/PRIVATE ENTERTAINMENT - Concentrate On Us

Please enjoy ..

I don't even have the strength to swear at you...

So for those who know me (or have read this blog before) you will all know that i am a generally a pretty angry and neurotic guy (along with anxiety prone, depressive, manic, so on and so forth). Long story short, I am jumping back into the world of psychology, or at least going to see one in two weeks. I'm not really sure how I feel about hits whole ordeal at this point. I know my personality has changed,drastically, since I started working second shift at the hospital. Or to be more honest (cause I bring the truth to the strong black youth), I've noticed how scattered my mind is recently, and how I take the slightest thing, real or imagined, and worry it like a puppy with a blanket.

Case in point...

I just spent the last hour or so fighting back a full scale panic attack. "Why?" you might be asking.
Isn't it obvious? because when I talked to Amy on the phone she seemed tired, or bored. Which translated to her being tired of me, or bored with me. And then (oh it gets better) I start to over-analyze it in my head (where else would I do it?) until it turns into this
(wherein my fucked up head will be explained by two lizards wearing tuxedos with tails, top hats and monocles)

Lizard brain A:well she's obviously going to break up with you.

Lizard Brain B:Or she's seeing someone else, or at least interested in someone else.

Lizard Brain A: I like where you're going with that good sir! Yes, she is going to break up with you
because she is interested in someone else.

Lizard Brain B: In fact, he is probably over at her house right now.

(close curtain. End scene.)

Or for another summary of how it works. For those of you who have done acid before (I'm sure a couple people who read this have), you know those times when you become extremely introspective and mull over everything? That's me when I'm having an anxiety attack. Except all the fun is gone.

Awesome.

I feel like this has been affecting the most important parts of my life, you my dear readers, and of course, my wonderful girlfriend. Will any of this help? I'm not really sure yet. Obviously I'm gonna have to wait and see. I really don't want to be crazy anymore, I really don't. And I know this comes across as whining, or what you would expect in a blog. And to that my response is......fuck you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9Kx_t6ko1k

Bowie-Dick [it's what's for dinner]

So really this is just another list of the things that i like that you may or may not agree with i just renamed it after reading Fedor's life-changing missive concerning the sterilization machines at his place of employment:

1. STL, aka: Stephan Laubner (one of the best and underrated house music--or otherwise--producers in Germany. give yourself 15 minutes and just listen. Homework LP and Invisibility=instant classics)

2. Lee Curtiss new ep on Dumb Unit (detroit boy blowing-up kind of in New York...at least he should be)

3. Cassy 02 ep (on her own imprint; Panorama Bar resident dj/vocalist/producer)

4. Round Black Ghosts compilation (on ~scape; check out the Pole and Ramadanman clips! dubstep gets techy, cleaner and more palatable--purists beware)

5. "W." the movie (i'll probably see this no matter what)

Go listen to Otis Redding...or pay the price.

So I just got out of work a little bit ago. "Why is this interesting?" you might be asking yourself, Patience dear reader. Apparently some retard who was hepped up on goofballs (the only possible answer) decided it would be a good idea to rob the local Turkey Hill, and then proceed to hide in the hospitals' parking garage on the same street. Now the hospital first started making announcements about how we were not allowed to leave the building due to "Security reasons" at about ten o'clock. Now if I was going to rob a convenience store, I would be sure as shit not to hang out at a parking garage less than a block away, that's just me. But the local police, almost all of them (according to what was seen by certain third shift members), were outside the parking garage trying to capture this scourge of the underworld. Really? It takes that much police presence to take down an idiot who probably only got forty bucks and a toquito? While I like to imagine Tom Clancy-esque exploits, with bravo team rappelling off the side of the building, while alpha team threw flash bangs and performed a "flash and clear" maneuver. We all know it was just a majority of the cops hanging out outside the major exits, while a Don Knotts looking fellow walked around the garage, flashlight shaking like reeds in the wind, yelling out for the guilty party to come out.
Oh yeah, they were also offering escorts to anyone who was parked in the garage itself. Which is a very kind thing to do, and also part of their civic duty (i guess). i can't imagine this person was that much of a threat, or anywhere near the parking garage anymore. Along with all of this, I saw, for the first time ever; a mounted officer within three blocks of my house. Not to say I live in the most slummy area. It's just the sheer fact that I live within spitting distance of a bar, which also offers take out services. Now, to me, that would be a better place to have cops patrolling on more than say, Friday and Saturday nights...Whatever.

Two quick funny things.

1. While looking through an issue of "Vibe" magazine at work; I noticed one of the best/saddest ads I've ever seen. It was a full page color ad of a relatively young looking man and a child playing in a beautiful (and beautifully photo shopped) field. Both white, obviously middle upper class.
Guess what the ad was for..........
Give up?
A home paternity test.
Yes, that's right, all those mid-level execs are not sure if they're the baby daddy of the child they've been raising.
Way to pander to your audience, and fulfill a wonderful stereotype.

2. I noticed (for the first time ever) a wonderful sign over by some of our sterilization machines at work today. It covered various things that you should remember to do, what you would expect to see near sensitive equipment. The best part about it was the line that read...

"what to do with the Bowie-dick"

There was more to it, but the first answer that came to mind was to find the nearest Iggy pop orifice machine and proceed to insert.

Sadly no one I work with understood the joke....

Enjoy...


http://www.filecabi.net/video/47a9de86a7a.html

Holy right wing bullshit Batman!

This is possibly the most insane thing I've read all week.
I love conservative owned papers
Ah, Rupert Murdoch, you are truly the crown prince of insane idiots.
And you Mr. Klavan should have your eyes poked out, and your hands removed.

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB121694247343482821-lMyQjAxMDI4MTI2NTkyNDUyWj.html

An open letter to "Magic" Johnson....

Dear Mr Johnson

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR AIDS!?!

Music & Misc. [07-02-08]

Not just a one-hit (hit?) wonder! In order from ass-kicking to approaching-ass-nudging-but-still-technically-kicking:

1. Moodymann @ Water Taxi beach (not your typical anonymous DJ set...and it got ssssllloooooowwww. I couldn't find actual footage, but this will give you the idea)

2. Catching the last 30 minutes of Ulrich Schnauss's performance @ WTC (Duh)

3. Dartriix (2 great EPs out this year, one dense full-length I slept on from last on op.disc (Japan) all original and bangin'. Left field shit with scatterings of live instrumentation (OK the singing is a bit much).)

4. New Stephan Bodzin EP ('Bremen Ost' and 'Station 72' are two tracks that deftly hack away at the argument that techno music "goes nowhere")

5. Sound Stream tracks finally available on beatport! (FINALLY)

Happy 4th! Hope to see you all soon...with all your digits.

I was wondering if I could date yer pumpkin?

Alright, this is just gonna be a quickie, much like my sex life (cue drum roll and cymbal crash).

1. The Earth is screaming!!!

Apparently there is a very logical reason this is happening. Solar radiation hitting out magnetic something or the other, blah blah blah.
It's still kinda creepy to hear. Plus the dude doing the narration on this video is awesome.

http://www.space.com/php/video/player.php?video_id=080627-earth-sounds


2.The Earth has reason to scream!!!!

Leave it to switzerland to build the worlds largest atom smasher. Those wacky swiss and their chocolate, and peace, and potential to destroy the earth by creating a black hole when they switch this puppy on.

http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/promos/wirepicks/story/400382.html

P.S.-this is the "Atom Smasher" I thought of when I first read the headline

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Rothstein

3. A man from Earth wants the ladies to scream and show him their Genitals!!!!

I don't have enough words to describe how much I love this video...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8e5cf85a87

Music & Misc. [6-24-08]

For lack of something better, here is a weekly (or bi-weekly) list of musical, and some non-musical things, that have taken up space in my brain. In order from best to not-as-awesome-as-the-best-but-still awesome:

1. Padded Cell 'Night Must Fall' (new CD on DC Recordings)

2. Awesome weather (it's almost like we had a real spring--what?)

3. The Mole 'Ain't the Way It's Supposed To Be' (3rd track from his new full length on Wagon Repair--perfectly restrained yet funky, the stand-out track on a great album)

4. Redshape 'Robot/Neon' single (new on Music Man--no luck finding the 12" Stateside, but good old beatport.com is now carrying it...about 2 months AFTER it's release*ahem*)

5. Elitechnique 'Mirror Men' EP (April 2008 on Clone--more than just aping Moroder & friends, they write and play beautifully--unique within the current Italo tribute genre)

6. Ferrero Kinder Happy Hippo cacao/hazelnut (wafer cookies from Deutschland...hazelnut and chocolate cream-filled delicate scupltures)

7. Turntable Lab NYC location finally getting the Siriusmo "All the Girls" 12" in stock (on Exploited, earlier this year--candy red vinyl!!!!)

8. Nomo 'New Tones' (LP on Ubiquity, 2006--the "new jazz" label scared me, but this is fantastic...everyone should check...Fedor, I'm looking in you direction!)

That is all...what, you thought there'd be ten? This ain't that kind of list.

But of course

I stumbled across a very interesting blog entry today by way of the Guardian UK's (of course) music section online. The article started with the idea that MBV ruined the musical landscape for britpop for about a decade, of course I had to read on. It's quite entertaining and ponderous.

ENJOY IT

More shit from an asshole

I'll start off by stating that I hope that the title of this entry at least gets a couple hits from scat fans, who will in-turn, be very VERY disappointed.
I'd like to say that there will be some logical narrative to this entry, but if not, meh.

So lately I've been doing a little research (lots) into various conspiracy theories and just insane things our government has done. Why you might ask? Why not? Plus it's fun to see how much is real and how many are just plain goofy.

Lets start with one not many people might know about.

1.Big business hates the United states.

In 1933 6 rather powerful men tried to overthrow the American government and FDR and start a business run regime. Who, you might ask? Well the list consists of
The heads of.

Chase Bank

Goodyear

Standard Oil

The Dupont Family

Senator Prescot Bush (yes THAT Bush family)

They tried to hire Marine general Smedley Butler to lead the military against the then president and install a "fascist" (for lack of better term) regime.
Due to lack of foresight on the conspirators side, and research, Smedley was a supporter of FDR.
In the end they were brought before a congressional committee...and nothing happened. The Committee agreed that there was a plot, but nothing was done to said conspirators.
More fuel for anti Bush people (which at this point should be everyone).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Business_Plot


Next on the hit list is a zinger from around the same time.

2.Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment
So, you're a poor black man living in the south. Not an uncommon occurrence during the 30's. Being patriotic you decide to help out when the government comes calling. Little do you know is this, they are going to either...

A.infect you with syphilis

B. withhold penicillin from you to continue their research on the effects of it upon your person

God bless the U.S.A.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuskegee_syphilis_experiment

3.Operation Snow White

I won't even try to do this service with my ham handed attempts to describe it.
Clear out your thetans...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Snow_White

4. Project MKULTRA

Arguably the grandaddy of all theories ( or at least the one that ties into a lot of the JFK, RFK, the Unabomber theories and many many more).

Basically it was thus.
The United States army was trying to develop cheap and easy mind control. What to use, what to use? I know! A shit ton of government made acid!
Yes boys and girls, he government fucked up A LOT of people on acid (and various other drugs, supposedly) to try and see if they could control their minds. Which, speaking from experience, is rather easy (except for the lack of concentration, laughing and/or fear).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKULTRA

OK scratch what I said about number 4.

4. The lizard people rule the earth

Long story short, every powerful person on earth (or at least within the American and British government) is a lizard person. A. FUCKING. LIZARD PERSON.
(directly from wiki)

"In 1999, Icke wrote and published The Biggest Secret: The Book that Will Change the World, in which he identified the extraterrestrial Prison Warders as reptilians from the constellation Draco.[25]They walk erect and appear to be human, living not only on the planets they come from, but also in caverns and tunnels under the earth. They have cross-bred with humans, which has created "hybrids" who are "possessed" by the full-blooded reptilians.[26] The reptiles' hybrid reptilian-human DNA allows them to change from reptilian to human form if they consume human blood. Icke has drawn parallels with the 1980s science-fiction series V, in which the earth is taken over by reptiloid aliens disguised as humans.
According to Icke, the reptilian group includes many prominent people and practically every world leader from Britain's late Queen Mother to George H.W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Harold Wilson, and Tony Blair. These people are either themselves reptilian, or work for the reptiles as what Icke calls slave-like victims of multiple personality disorder: "The Rothschilds, Rockefellers, the British royal family, and the ruling political and economic families of the U.S. and the rest of the world come from these SAME bloodlines. It is not because of snobbery, it is to hold as best they can a genetic structure — the reptilian-mammalian DNA combination which allows them to 'shape-shift'."[5]
In Tales From The Time Loop and other works, Icke states that most organized religions, especially Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, are Illuminati creations designed to divide and conquer the human race through endless conflicts. In a similar vein, Icke believes racial and ethnic divisions are an illusion promoted by the reptilians, and that racism fuels the Illuminati agenda."

I love the fact that he ties the illuinati into it as well.

The world is a horrible and scary place.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1133663868

As the above video will show you....

Why wasn't there a black M.O.D.O.K?

So it's about three in the morning and I'm still awake. Mind you I haven't tried sleeping yet, but you can't really try to sleep. You do or you don't. I guess I'm just not tired. That and my neuroticism is keeping me up, yet again. This is something that anyone has known me for longer than say oh, three hours or so, will know. Personally, between you and me, fair reader, I hate it. I really do. It makes me into something I don't want to be. I constantly second guess people. What that look they just gave me meant (when there was no "look" per-say) or why did they say that, or nothing at all, or in that tone? I try to interpret and over-analyze every little thing. Which then leads to me coming to false conclusions, and making the people around me either unhappy or think I'm a miserable bastard. Which I am, but generally in a lovable way.

Case in point, My wonderful,beautiful,intelligent girlfriend is at the beach with her parents. I talked to her for about five minutes earlier in the day (which is both great and sad at the same time, since all I've been able to do as of recent is talk to her on the phone. Which is a whole other neurotic break in and of itself). Long story short, she said she would call me later tonight. It's now three and I've received no phone call. I know I know, she was probably worn out from being in the heat all day. And I understand that, in the back of my mind. unfortunately in the lizard brain that seems to rule my life, I think there is some sort of deeper meaning behind it. And it just makes me unbelievably sad, with both the realization that I'm doing it (again), and on the other end, what the lack of Phone call means.

Things like this just kill me on a daily basis. I realize I should probably go back to seeing a head shrinker of some sort, but to be perfectly honest with you, I hated the time I was seeing one in the past. I realize now that it helped, but my circumstances were a bit different.I'd like to say this is a recent development in my life (or at least the realization of my neuroticism), but it's not. And I realize this sounds like a lot of belly aching, which it is to an extent, but if I can't put something here, where can I put it?

I apologize for the "realness" of this entry. Well not really, all of you can fuck yourselves if you've got a problem with it.It's my goddamn blog (kind of) and I will do with it what I so choose.



We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...


http://www.jibjab.com/player/main.swf?jid=95259

http://www.jibjab.com/player/main.swf?jid=95255



And the follow up news report



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BGNFdK1twI&feature=related

No. YOU drink the piss....

So, it's been awhile kids. i know, i know, you've all been in a sea of confusion (or a land if you prefer the video)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MzShg7yXik



Regardless...



I've recently watched the movie Rambo.

No, Not First Blood, which is a great movie. Anyone who hasn't watched it obviously doesn't understand why it was so sad that they made sequels.

Rambo though....where to begin?

This is a movie that going into I had very low expectations. For a myriad of reasons, Sly is a little past his prime, it's been twenty years since the last time John Rambo had to clean up a mess other people made, and all the pre-release videos,interviews, and other assorted what-not made this film look absolutely insane. John Rambo now lives in Thailand? He's a snake wrangler/Blacksmith? What the fuck is going on here?

I'll tell you what's going on here.....

One of the best throwback action films I have seen in a very very very long time.

Alright, lets get the plot synopsis out of the way. Rambo has retired to Thailand to live a quiet and simple life of snake wrangling for a local tourist "snake show", and ferrying people around in an old PT boat. He also seems to work on a smithing forge at points, why? God only knows. Enter the Christian Missionaries, their intentions are to go to War torn Burma and help the people by educating them to Christ, and providing medicine and other such shit that missionaries do. Rambo is, of course, trying to keep them from going by being a gruff old bastard. His lines consist mostly of "go home" and unintelligible grunts. Finally the "attractive" female of the group of missionaries gives him some hackneyed speech about helping people because you can, blah, blah, blah. Long story short, Rambo brings them to the Village in Burma, And then all hell breaks loose.

the scene opens up with pleasant music playing in the background as the camera pans around to various scenes of the missionaries helping the people (reading them the bible, giving them packs with what I guess is food, and of course a bible, you get the idea). After it pans around and up to the Doctor of the group helping someone, it does a quick cut to men in military garb loading a mortar, and then the explosions start. This is the part of the film that just doesn't care about offending you.



Villagers having their legs cut off by soldiers, Check

People getting their legs blown off by mortars, Check

Women getting shot, Check

Women having their shirts ripped off, and presumably raped, Check

Children being shot, Check

Children being bayoneted, Check

Building being burned down, Check

and the coup de grace.....

After said building is lit on fire, a Burmese soldier grabs a woman holding a child, pushes the woman out of the way, and throws the child into the burning building.

Yes I just typed that.

He throws a child into a BURNING FUCKING BUILDING!!

Don't believe me???



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9X7aqygXA4

(2:09 is the sweet spot)

After the insanity that is this scene we are left to see what Rambo is going to do about it. If your answer is "bring about vengeance like a man with a sword made of AIDS" you would be correct.

From here on out the movie starts to be what everyone thinks a Rambo film is mindless,beautiful fucking violence. Heads exploding, snipers,an old S.A.S bastard who don't know Rambo's past, bow and arrow killings, and a twenty minute finale that is so amazing that I almost threw up something I ate in third grade from laughing so hard, in a good way.
One of the other things they got right with this movie is the length of it. An hour and twenty minutes or so. Perfect. Just enough time to tell a "story". Let's be honest though, this movie (as even Stallone has said) was made for fans of the Rambo series. I would like to say there is some deeper meaning behind it, but that would just degrade both of us, now wouldn't it?

All in all this movie is definitely worth watching. If not for the sheer absurdity of it, just to see a movie that doesn't flinch away from what made action movies great in the past (at least in my opinion). Sheer unapologetic violence on such an absurd scale you just have to watch the spectacle of it passing before you.

Next time: Maybe something more serious, but probably not...lets be honest.